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Why SEO N00B Does Not Go On Vacation

Jean-Kevin worked very hard for that. Jean-Kevin has sacrificed everything for this moment. And he’s ready. Surfboard, sunscreen, reservations at Paris-Plage, everything is perfect: his vacation of dreams will be exceptional, and he deserves it.

After all, Jean-Kevin is a SEO guy, a roxxor of the title tag, a killer of the semantic cocoon. He has trusted all possible positions of his clients and they have, without exception, + 345% of traffic and all earn millions.

In short, Jean-Kevin is the undisputed king of SERPS … And yet, while he is about to slip 4h waiting at the tarmac (but in “business class”, then it goes), a doubt seizes Jean- Kevin.

It is there, the nose all cream white, the big Ray-Ban bluish shining. He has his little shirt and his moccasins with acorn. His iPhone is inflated to block too. His Gold Master Super Class card is in the pocket of his Bermuda shorts … So what’s wrong?

What if there was an algo update? And if, suddenly, there was “movement in the SERPS”? What if the customer’s server was on fire? And if Google was really getting naked by Qwant in one night (Eric, Sylvain and Laurent would be happy)?

Jean-Kevin was seized with terror. He starts to sweat. The hostess, whom he had spotted earlier, now cast a glance between suspicion and embarrassed disgust. It’s because it’s swimming our consultant …

“Sir?” How’s it going sir ? “

Jean-Kevin can not say anything, he vaguely mumbles something, nervously trithe his iPhone in his pocket, the little one takes fright. But what exactly is he touching ?!

“Yes, yes … But … And positions …? he mutters.
– The positions? But, sir, what are you talking about? I hope you do not talk about …
– AND IF EVERYTHING WILL COUNT, HEIN ?! “

Jean-Kevin panic. Amelie, the hostess, too. They become as livid as each other in a beautiful synchronicity. What then has this strange character who speaks of position and collapse? What is he trying to get out of his Bermuda shorts?

“Calm down, sir, it’s okay. “She tries to appease him by making great signs to safety.

Two big malabars are rooted by rolling muscles. Amelie needs help, we’re going to save her from this … What’s in fact? Jean-Kevin looks at them madly. It must absolutely check before boarding the plane. Because, after sitting down, with his little business class Mojito, he can not turn on his smartphone during the entire take-off.

And it’s a long takeoff. He could lose so much in such a short time … He has to check!

Then, Jean-Kevin starts a gesture, he shoots what he has in his pocket. Amelie, on the other hand, takes a step backwards in a whisper, and the cerberes of the holidays bellow by inflating the pecs:

“IT HAS A WEAPON!” “

Time slows down, air takes shape. Jean-Kevin shouts a wave “MAIAIS … C’EEEEST … FOR MY PO … IF … TIOOOOOOOONS”, his voice is serious, slowed down, as in a Marvel who still uses this bad humorous string.

The first colossus uncorks him a blow which makes him spit and sends waltz his iPhone a couple of meters away. It’s good for the Olympics, that one. As for the second colossus, it leans on its back, and jumps like a gorilla in times of rut. “PETIT … DEGUEULASSE …” he replied, also in slow motion, before we pushed him to the ground with all his mass.

When his head hits the bitumen, Jean-Kevin blinks, time has resumed its normal course. He has a headache, aching back, aching arm, and 120 pounds of muscles sitting on his buttocks. Its iPhone lies, burst in the distance.

He will never know if he has not already slipped into the SERPS.

He will not go on holiday.

On the other hand, if Jean-Kevin has a niche site on petroleum jelly, the anti-terrorist services will be responsible for giving him inspiration for his contents

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